Baby and Me

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A friend who is a new mom is struggling from lack of sleep. The grandmothers will say, of course, thats nothing new in the world of parenting a child, especially first time around.  To the question of what would you do,  I answered thusly:

Everything has its unique dosha balance, including parenting styles and baby’s needs. And they don’t always line up as the easiest combinations. Depends on your parabdha karma, perhaps! 

No one style is right for everyone. In my
 opinion (and I’m pretty sure its ayurvedic altho I can’t find a quote to back it up), its best to just allow our innate nature to lead the way and baby will abide well with parent being true to self and thus more at ease than “trying to do it right” according to…..whoever those parenting experts are.

Vata parent will be some what aloof and read/tell lots of great stories, go with the flow and show little consistency. Pitta parent will be more disciplined, routine. organized and firm. Kapha parent will be more nurturing, soothing, close and cuddly. 

Vata baby will be a day dreamer, nurse a little, stop and gaze around, nurse a little more, stop, gaze. They probably won’t sleep soundly and be prone to dryness and thus constipation. If mom’s vata, too, then hopefully dad’s kapha or pitta to give some routines and structure or mom needs to learn how to incorporate these seemingly awkward traits.

Pitta baby will be more independent but also want to be in charge. When hungry, bored, tired, they will let you know and not stop until their need is taken care of. The won’t like to be wet or messy. They will sleep well but not for to long, probably nurse until full and then push mom away. If mom’s pitta too, hopefully dad’s vata or kapha to get some unstructured play happening and some sweet tenderness or mom needs to chill out a bit to include this balance. 

Kapha will be calm and joy filled and tend to have more mucous, will nurse a lot because its a little bit of heaven just like them, sleep long and deep and not groove on too much stimulation. Hopefully if mom’s kapha, dad’s vata or pitta to enliven the playtime, create some healthy boundaries and throw in some chaos or mom will need to get going and live it up a bit.

More than anything baby will show a vikriti (imbalance) that is due to the mother’s state as she is baby’s closest influence. If mom’s off her mark, baby will reflect that. So, best advice to all moms – find out what your doshas are and do your best to stay in balance.

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Abhyanga

Regardless of dosha types,  try a warm oil abhyanga (massage) for both mom and baby before or after evening bath and then drift off to a rest filled night. In India,  all Ammas (mothers) in an ayurvedic household massage baby with sesame oil, three times daily for babe and once daily  for mom for the first three months of this new partnership.  Sesame oil, as the first jewel of ayurveda,  lowers vata (restlessness), acts as an antiseptic and antibiotic, nourishes the tissues inside and out and calms the mind giving rise to sweet bliss filled dreams.

 

Winter 2014, Time as Change

Winter 2014.

I find it quite remarkable that I can clearly see the changes in our weather patterns in just fifty years. Nature does her best with adaptation and at this point, seems to be struggling to keep up.  We must head the signs that if we change to quickly the outcomes may well be more detrimental than advantageous. Fifty years is a very short period for so much change. It equates to  the plant and animal kingdoms inability to keep up, resulting in extinction or down grades  of species that can’t quickly adapt.

This stands true in our personal lives as well.  Ayurveda says its better to make one dynamic change and take the time to fully observe the related outcomes.  Only if its a green light, do we then allow it to settle in as the new normal. Once it settles in and becomes routine, only then can we whole heartedly observe the next change and its affects, separate from any other.

In this way, our body/mind environment  is intelligently coerced into letting go of the old and settling in with the new and does so with a lesser amount of resistance or acting out than if we turn our lives upside down in an attempt to embrace too much newness all at once.

In the long run, conscious integration serves us much better than radical change.  Listening then becomes more important than doing and integration comes from truth and honest reflection rather than willful determination. This is the new paradigm as I see it.

This month hosts one of my favorite celebration, Valentines Day.  May we all experience the eternal flow of Divine Love, having no expectation of what it looks like, other than recognizing it as the purity of Love itself.  Our Divine Love of Self is paramount in preparing our little selves for true Love with others. Let us embody this manifestation as the “three hundred and sixty degree Love” that is our true nature.

And from this,  all life will unfold as that Love itself.