A friend who is a new mom is struggling from lack of sleep. The grandmothers will say, of course, thats nothing new in the world of parenting a child, especially first time around. To the question of what would you do, I answered thusly:
Everything has its unique dosha balance, including parenting styles and baby’s needs. And they don’t always line up as the easiest combinations. Depends on your parabdha karma, perhaps!
No one style is right for everyone. In my opinion (and I’m pretty sure its ayurvedic altho I can’t find a quote to back it up), its best to just allow our innate nature to lead the way and baby will abide well with parent being true to self and thus more at ease than “trying to do it right” according to…..whoever those parenting experts are.
Vata parent will be some what aloof and read/tell lots of great stories, go with the flow and show little consistency. Pitta parent will be more disciplined, routine. organized and firm. Kapha parent will be more nurturing, soothing, close and cuddly.
Vata baby will be a day dreamer, nurse a little, stop and gaze around, nurse a little more, stop, gaze. They probably won’t sleep soundly and be prone to dryness and thus constipation. If mom’s vata, too, then hopefully dad’s kapha or pitta to give some routines and structure or mom needs to learn how to incorporate these seemingly awkward traits.
Pitta baby will be more independent but also want to be in charge. When hungry, bored, tired, they will let you know and not stop until their need is taken care of. The won’t like to be wet or messy. They will sleep well but not for to long, probably nurse until full and then push mom away. If mom’s pitta too, hopefully dad’s vata or kapha to get some unstructured play happening and some sweet tenderness or mom needs to chill out a bit to include this balance.
Kapha will be calm and joy filled and tend to have more mucous, will nurse a lot because its a little bit of heaven just like them, sleep long and deep and not groove on too much stimulation. Hopefully if mom’s kapha, dad’s vata or pitta to enliven the playtime, create some healthy boundaries and throw in some chaos or mom will need to get going and live it up a bit.
More than anything baby will show a vikriti (imbalance) that is due to the mother’s state as she is baby’s closest influence. If mom’s off her mark, baby will reflect that. So, best advice to all moms – find out what your doshas are and do your best to stay in balance.
Regardless of dosha types, try a warm oil abhyanga (massage) for both mom and baby before or after evening bath and then drift off to a rest filled night. In India, all Ammas (mothers) in an ayurvedic household massage baby with sesame oil, three times daily for babe and once daily for mom for the first three months of this new partnership. Sesame oil, as the first jewel of ayurveda, lowers vata (restlessness), acts as an antiseptic and antibiotic, nourishes the tissues inside and out and calms the mind giving rise to sweet bliss filled dreams.